What to expect
What a first session looks like, how long therapy takes, and answers to the questions most parents ask.
Before the first session
Most of the time, we start with a 15–20 minute phone call. No charge, no pressure. You tell me what's going on — as much or as little as feels right — and I'll tell you what I think might help, whether that's working with me, working with a different therapist whose approach fits better, seeing your pediatrician, or some combination. Reaching out to talk costs nothing.
If we both want to move forward, I'll ask you to come in without your child for the first appointment. I want to hear the full story from you — your child's birth story and early years, their history, their temperament, what's changed recently, what's already been tried. I also want to know what you're hoping for, and what you're worried about.
Your child's first visit
When your child comes for their first session, the goal is simple: help them feel safe in the room and curious about what's on the shelves. A lot of the first session is just looking around, getting oriented, maybe touching the sand for the first time, starting to build something small.
Some parents work hard to explain what therapy is. That isn’t necessary. Children pick up safety and trust from you and from getting to meet me and the room in person. In a few visits, they often arrive without difficulty — and usually glad to come in — depending on where they are in their work. Most important is that they know you trust me, that they are safe, and that you will be right there after the session is done.
It sometimes takes a few “first times” — and how they get comfortable might be unique, but we will find what that is. Finding this when it is most difficult is often the most important work for their future flexibility, trust, and nervous system. If you’re worried about the transition or what to say, just ask — after our conversation I’ll have a sense of the best plan for your particular kid.
If you do want simple language to use with your child, something like this works:
- "Erik is someone I'm getting to know" (or "someone I've met")
- "Erik is an adult who likes spending time with kids."
- "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. You can play or draw or just look around."
- "I'll be in the waiting space the whole time. It's 50 minutes. When you're done, we'll go home together."
How long does therapy take?
The honest answer is: it depends. Rather than giving you a timeline, here's the shape of the work — most therapy with a child moves through three phases.
The beginning is the time of finding out and discovering. We don't yet know what's there to be found. This can be the hardest phase precisely because of that: the not-knowing. We're getting to know each other; your child is getting used to the room and to me; you and I are figuring out what's actually going on.
The middle is where the work happens. Your child grows into what they're carrying. You get the parent education and support you need. We find resources for both of you, wherever they need to come from.
The end is where deeper truths surface — sometimes the hardest part, but also the part where your child is most equipped to meet them. After that comes a closing: a stretch of letting your child be ready to leave a space that has held something important. Therapy isn't something to walk away from abruptly. The closing matters.
I'll always be straight with you about where I think we are and what your child needs next. If at any point therapy isn't moving, we talk about it. I am not interested in keeping a child in therapy longer than they need to be there.
Questions parents ask
Do I stay in the room during sessions?
In almost all cases, no — the work happens one-on-one, and privacy is part of what makes the room feel like theirs. For younger children, or at the start with kids who need a little more time to warm up, we may adjust. We'll figure out what's right for your particular child.
My child doesn't want to come. Should I force them?
Not usually. If there's strong resistance, it's worth understanding why. Sometimes a kiddo's "no" needs to be heard before they can ever say "yes." Even when a child doesn't want to come in, seeing that I can hear their no — that an adult can respect it — is sometimes the therapy itself. The "no" is information; letting it be known to me that they don’t want to come is an important part of them knowing I can respect boundaries.
How do I know if my child needs therapy at all? Won’t they just grow out of it?
This one is worth a phone call rather than a quick answer. I’m noticing in Kansas City itself I hear this comment and these questions often. People often confuse growing out of something with learning to adjust and behave as they get older. The biggest difference with a child’s anxiety or sadness is that it shows up in their play and behavior — unlike adults, who can suppress these feelings into internal states others often cannot see. I do not want anyone mistaking “growing out of it” for becoming a suppressing adult. What doesn’t get support now can become internalized. There are plenty of successful adults on the outside who have deep issues on the inside. Getting a therapeutic perspective can help clarify the difference between developmental delays and emotional / mental health issues.
And not every child needs therapy just because something difficult is coming up. Challenges are part of growth. I recommend you make it simple on yourself and call me. I don’t charge for that first call, and I give what perspective I can. I don’t offer this to “get more clients.” I spent years at low-pay clinics; some parts of my work aren’t about the money — some are. The phone call is a support I offer to the Kansas City community. I’m not a helpline, but I’m here to help you know if therapy is the right direction.
My kid seems fine. Am I overreacting?
Probably not. If you noticed something, there's usually something to notice. Kids are good at appearing fine, especially the kids we tend to worry about. A conversation doesn't commit you to anything — reach out and we'll figure it out together.
Will you diagnose my child?
If your child needs a diagnosis, I can give one. As a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Kansas, I am the licensed authority for that. Many of the children I see don't need a diagnosis — they need support, time, and a grown-up paying careful attention. But when one is genuinely useful (for school services, for medical coordination, for the family's own clarity), I can do it.